Fear

Fear is an interesting thing. It drives much of what goes on around us in the world, and unfortunately, much of what most of us do (I think).

Now this might seem a little obvious, especially at present with the state of the world and our Global Economic Meltdown and the fear that is driving markets. Fear of losing money, jobs, etc. And before that we've had the global war on terror. But putting these Global/Social fears aside they tend to over shadow the everyday fears that drive (pretty much) all our lives.

Am I too fat, too thin, not pretty enough, not funny enough, do I earn enough money, have I made the right decisions, will I make the right decisions, am I happy, do my friends like me, am I accepted??? etc, etc, etc.

Fear is no way to live life. Someone much smarter and thoughtful than I once said....

"Fear is the baseless fabric of our own vision. Fear has no place in our hearts when we have shaken off the attachment for wealth, for family and for the body."

Fear tends to be based upon our unrealistic expectations and view of the world around us. That somehow we can cheat death and destruction and hold onto the things around us. That for some illogical reason rather than accepting what comes our way we can wrestle control of the uncontrollable through worry, denial, striving, religion, or any number of other mechanisms which doesn't actually increase our control.

And yes, even as a religious man and ardent follower of Christ I lump religion into that category. Tosteal another quote from Gandhi...

"Fearlessness is the first requistite of spirituality. Cowards can never be moral."

Now I think that cuts pretty deep. How many people can truely say they are fearless? Fearlessness means being able to put what is right before what you want. To put what is right before yourself.

And it goes further.

"Fearlessness is a sine qua non for the growth of the other noble qualities. How can one seek truth or cherish love without fearlessness?"

To truely love someone you need to be fearless. Love requires a certain acceptance of vulnerability and trust. And unfortunately we live in a society and world that does not promote the growth of noble human qualities. It promotes fear, not love or acceptance, it promotes selfish interest and nurtures hatred.

The first step I believe is being aware of fear.

"There is so much superstition and hypocrisy around that one is afraid to even do the right thing. But if one gives way to fear, even truth will have to be suppressed. The golden rule is to act fearlessly upon what one believes to be right."

To Infinity........

The world is coming to an end if you hadn't heard. Particle accelerator experiments at CERN may create tiny black holes which some scientists think could join and destroy humanity. It's unlikely, or so i'm led to believe.

We had a discussion today at lunch about theoretical physics. Dark matter, dark energy, and other things that even most cluey physicsts I know don't understand. Someone commented on how pointless it all is, how meaningless everything and existence is. We are one tiny part of something so huge and mind boggling that it beggars belief.

But in all that here we are. You and me. Of all that exists we are possibly the most complex, most improbable of all. But that's not it. There is something beautiful in my opinion about accepting this and facing infinity with an eagerness, and joy and to do so with hope, respect and dignity. That is not meaningless. Far from it. If anything it surely gives meaning to everything. We are in the most privileged position to either be the best or the worst or somewhere inbetween of what this universe has to offer.

Bloody awesome I reckon.

To infinity and beyond.

Faith in the WA Elector........ Restored

Well, after the boringness of State politics the WA electors have spoken. And they've really livened things up! Thank goodness.

It's restored a bit of my faith in the WA voting public, the swing from Labour and their useless waste of 8 years and however many billions of surplus dollars. And there's been a good swing towards not only the arguably lack luster Liberals, but thankfully to the Nationals and independents.

Way to spice up State politics. Lets just hope that it leads to good outcomes for the state. I'm opimistic personally about some of the smaller parties and independents having some power. I also really hope the other larger parties take notice that the voters ain't quite as big a bunch of dumb-arses as they seem to think.

Stay posted. It's not over yet ;)

Sex Slaves, Swingers and Totally Addicted to Blog....

I have a problem and it's time that I share it.

I've been occassionally checking the http://blogs.news.com.au site and reading the "ask bossy" blogs. The short is that people write in with problems, they get posted up and the lady who runs the site gives suggestions and comments. Then the real fun begins. It's open slather and every joe smoe gets to give comments, abuse and generally vent their spleen.

It amazes me the problems people have and is a real insight into the human condition (seriously). As are the responses of the masses.

The latest one has a lady writing in about her boy friend of 4.5 yrs whose started getting a little freaky and controlling when it comes to sex (sorry I probly shouldn't be judgemental and use "freaky"). He's indicated that he's upfor her having sex with his friends and other girls while he watches.

Now you'd think this'd surprise me but I've been following the site for a month or more now so I'm a bit desensitised to the freakiness that seems to occur out there in the "real world". What surprised me more was some of the comments by the sites writer who is apparently a psychologist or something maybe. She spoke to an "expert" about rough sex and fantasy stuff.

"You ask a lot of interesting questions about this issue and I have to admit I’m far from an expert when it comes to slavery or rough sex. So I asked a real expert, practicing dominatrix and Mistress Amanda Dwyer, who runs Sydney’s Salon Kitty’s, and has pretty much seen it all. Here’s what she says about your situation: “Fantasies such as one partner ‘owning and controlling’ the other are quite common for both men and women and are of themselves no reason to start worrying about whether there are severe problems within the relationship. Having sex in public places, roughing up, humiliation, abduction, interrogation, rape and swinging are all variations of exploring ownership and control of which sex slavery is very much part of the theme. In my experience I’ve found both sexes are interested in watching their partners having sex with another (swinging). I’ve observed men are far more interested in their partners being involved with another male or female, while women seem happier to voyeur their partner with another woman rather than another male."

I've bolded the bits that surprised me. I'd personally be worried if my partner had fantasies about owning or controlling me. Might not be a problem with the relationship, but that's surely a problem of theirs they need to see someone about.

And "In my experience I’ve found both sexes are interested in watching their partners having sex with another " What the!?!! Is it just me, but I don't think I'd be into sharing in that way.

Anyways, it's very educational reading some of this stuff, both in terms of what some people get up to and have to face in their lives, as well as aspects of your own life it questions and/or strengthens.

Still judge not lest ye be judged :)

(that goes for freaky swingers as well as me reading these sort of blogs. ;)

The State of the Election

I took my car in for a service today. I'm on the bus on the way to work and I thought I'd try blogging from my phone. It's really quite relaxing using public transport.

How's the WA election campaign going? It's boring, short sighted, and lacking in any sort of substance. I'm a public servant, and i've seen things grind to a holt over the past couple of months leading up to the election. Seriously. The government doesn't really seem to want to govern incase they give the opposition some ammunition or stuff up and so far the opposition hasn't explained what they are going to bring to the party. Piss weak.

But really, I think it's our own fault. Society in general. We seem more interested in personalities, gossip, etc. We're interested in what we can get, such as a quick tax cut. We whinge about education, health, carers, but what do we do other than whinge? Our politicians are the short sighted product of our short sighted society.

And what's the solution? I have to admit I consider myself a moderately informed and interested whinger. What can I do? Does voting for a minor party really make a difference? Can we make a difference? Are we too far gone as a society?

Whoever wins is probly not that big a deal. It's all much of a muchness and we're getting what we deserve.

How depressing.

Legalism and Revisiting Baptism

Any of you who know me will know this has been a point of contention for me the last couple of years. I attend a COC that has what I believe is a narrow definition of baptism that somehow means according to them I haven't actually been baptised and so can't become a member.

The upside is that I've done a lot of reading , praying, discussing and I have a much better understanding of baptism than I did before. Rather than changing my opinion of my own baptism I think it has strengthened it and has deepened my relationship with God. It's also made me a little more understanding of others.

I was reading something last night that reminded me about the whole baptism thing. It's a book on the life and history of Jesus (I think "Jesus, the greatest life of all". Sorry I don't remember the author or the ISBN Jodie ;)). The chapter I read last night discusses the historical significance of the pharisee's and sadducee's, how they came about, why they opposed each other in a semi-symbiotic way, and their significance to the time Jesus lived in and to the message he brought.

Middo's recently written about legalism. Well this was out of control at the time Jesus lived. The Pharisee's had laws for everything. For example the sabbath had 39 laws RE what you couldn't do, and the focus had come off what the point of the day of rest was.

Luke 6:1-5 – 1Now it happened on a Sabbath, Jesus was passing through grain fields, and his
disciples were plucking and eating heads of grain by rubbing them in their hands. 2Then some of the Pharisees said, “Why do you do what is illegal for Sabbath?” 3Answering them, Jesus said, “Have none of you read what David did when he was hungry, and those who were with him?” 4How he entered the house of God, and taking the bread of offering, he ate and he gave to those with him, that which was illegal to eat except for the priests alone?” 5Then he said to them, “The son of man is lord of the Sabbath.”

Man wasn't created for the sabbath, rather the sabbath was created for men. The Pharisee's had flipped this around.

Now I was thinking last night about how this related to baptism, and the belief that baptism must be by full immersion and you have to be at least 13 or older (or whichever age you pick). Now my opinion is that this is legalism. Baptism was created for man, not man for baptism. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not pointing the finger if you believe Jesus was baptised by full immersion as an adult and that's how you want it. I spose I'm saying if you judge other peoples baptism against this you are venturing into the area of legalism and judgmentalism.

Now moving on from this point, it's my opinion that Christians in general are and have been too legalistic for too long, and maybe always. I think many of us unfortunately place sin above the person (e.g. sex before/outside marriage, homosexuality, abortion, gambling, drinking, drug taking, protitution etc, etc.). Grace and salvation are offered for all, despite sin or anything else. Thank God I reckon. I hope I'm slowly getting better at living that.

A Question About Jesus

I work with Physicists. Now I am a physicist myself and we tend to be logical, calculating, reasoning types (as well as nerds for the most part ;). I'm the only Christian or even religious person in the group of us that have lunch everyday and we often have quite good discussions about religion (as well as lots of other stuff). While not being believers the others are quite open and understanding, even though they can't understand why I would believe in a god.


One asked a question today which I don't really have a good answer for yet. "Why did God need to send Jesus to suffer and die?" Simple question and I think most christians would give a simple answer. But why was Jesus' life forfeit for our sins? My friend asked "why couldn't God just forgive us?" I think it's a lot more complicated and there is much more to it that we often credit.


We both understood the importance and significance of God becoming man and providing an example to us, rather than simply sending instructions or commands. But why the requirement to die? I speculated that this could be related to Jewish practices at the time, where forgiveness or atonement was related to sacrifice. But this still doesn't explain why Jesus' death was necessary.


Any thoughts? I'd appreciate some help/insight into this one. :)

Why are people so unkind?

You may or may not have heard about the attack on the weekend at Curtin University. 3 aboriginal guys attacked a 35 year old female student and busted her up pretty badly.

"A Curtin University student bashed as she walked home early yesterday in an unprovoked attack broke her wrist trying to fight off her attacker.The 35-year-old woman, who only wanted to be known by her first name Vaisaali, suffered lacerations to her face, split lips, chipped teeth and bruising to both eyes in the unprovoked attack. She was attacked at 12.15am yesterday as she walked home after working at Curtin University. The attack is the latest in a series of bashings near the university's Bentley campus. Vaisaali, who suffers cerebral palsy, has described from her hospital bed at Royal Perth Hospital seeing three men at the university's bus station on Hayman Road as she approached it. The men spoke to her, asking how she was. She then noticed one of the men started to follow her before he suddenly started bashing her about 100m from the bus station. Vaisaali was hit on the face and head several times, falling to the ground in a semi-conscious state as her attacker rummaged through her jeans and jacket pockets, stealing a debit card and keys.“I said ‘look I have no money’ but still he kept on bashing me and checking my jacket. He bashed me to the point that I was unconscious on the ground and he kept on bashing," Vaisaali said. Her attacker only fled after officers in a passing St John ambulance saw the man standing over her and stopped to help. Vaisaali said she did not remember whether her attacker had said anything before he started bashing her. She only had a few dollars on her, a credit card and a mobile phone."I was really lucky that the ambulance came and he ran off. I was wearing black so no one would have noticed me lying on the path."She broke her wrist trying to defend herself. “I just thought ‘he’s bashing me for money so just give it to him but I had no money. I was trying to save my mobile in case if I’m in trouble afterwards and I needed to call somebody.”Vaisaali believes only one of the three men attacked her.The attack has left her struggling to sleep and in terrible pain as she recovers in hospital.She has called for better security at the university, particularly on the student campus and bus station.Police are today appealing for witnesses to the attack. The three men are described as dark skinned males. One wore a black and grey hooded jumper and blue jeans.Police have obtained security footage from the bus station and hope the footage will help identify the men.A WA police spokesman said that the latest attack could be linked to a series of attacks near the university.There have been five similar attacks over the past week at the university surrounds and streets. Police are appealing for public help with police operations underway around the university this week.Any information to Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000."

I happen to know this lady from Uni as a fellow post grad student. She is a lovely, quiet, unassuming person, and is of small build and has cerebal palsy. There is no need to hit her if you wanted to take her stuff. There is absolutely nothing she could do to defend herself and she wouldn't even be able to escape. Hurting her is so senseless and needless.

The whole thing is very sad. That people are capable of such heartless and needlessly destructive behaviour and that she now has to overcome this abuse.

Who do you listen to?

I went and saw my Dad preach today. It was great. It was the first time he's done it in a while. It's also the first time I've been back to an Anglican Church for a few years. I really enjoyed it. The guys that wrote the prayer book really did a great job. I still remember many of the prayers/creed/etc but they really stirred up a lot of emotion in me.

Plus I enjoyed the sermon. Dad used the old T, new T and gospel readings and tied them in a practical and interesting way. I liked it especially cause I've been a little starved for good sermons at my current Church recently. Plus he's my dad so I'm a little biased.

He asked who do you listen to? Family, friends, the media, etc were some of the responses. We are surrounded by voices, all trying to move us in different directions. Who do we listen to? As christians we would say Jesus and his teachings through the bible. But how can we trust that voice over others? Once again he asked for examples and they could be split up into 2 categories - personal experience and the apostolic witness or the witness of history (i.e. the bible).

Who do you listen to? And why? I think I listen to Jesus first and I spose Gandhi, whose also been a big influence on me. My family as well have always been a big influence.

There's lots more that I'd love to relate but I can't do any of it justice. It tied in well with much of what I've been contemplating over the last few months. I've resolved to visit an anglican Church regularly, maybe monthly I think. I also did the music for them which was good fun. It was all hymns and older songs, and one darling lady came up afterwards and said she loved my playing and singing, even though she'd never really liked the guitar before. :)

Grace..... what does it mean?

What does the grace of God mean to you?

I was reading a blog earlier and discussion came up on Karma and Grace. Now people are a little funny in that despite the world around us, which really isn't "fair" we have this tendency to think there should be some sort of cosmic justice. People who do bad things will get punished and visa versa. I think unfortunately many christians don't let go of this "Karma" theology but incorporate it into their christianity. What I mean by that is that if something bad happens to someone good, well they'll get payback through eternal bliss, whereas bad people are going to get eternal smackdown in hell. Surely that's just another form of Karma??

Anyways, the concept of grace is pretty important to christianity. Someone facetiously/argumentatively asked on this other blog "well could Hilter be in heaven, if you believe this whole grace thing?"

Now I think the idea of grace is important practically for living a happy and fulfilling life. Practicing graceousness towards others and also to ourselves can be very freeing and is a healthy way to live.

I've got some questions that I'll look up but feel free give your 2 bobs worth ;)

• Is grace covered much in the new testament? Is it more a NT concept?
• Do any other religions have a similar grace concept?
• Is there actually a biblical basis to "christian Karma" - maybe some OT verses?
• Does forgiveness require grace?
• What's the relationship between grace and love?
• What is grace?

I read that grace is getting what you don't deserve. That's a bit simplistic I think but interesting.

The path to happiness.....

I have this notion that there are a lot of people about who don't really think about the important things. It's too easy to get caught up "living", getting up going to work, playing sport, spending time with family, etc, and not think about why and how we do the things we do. And I think that's important.

Everyone wants to be happy. But how? Apparently having money, being skinny and being famous means you're a success. At least that's what our society raises up as success. But are you happy if you're a success??

Heck no. Just look at all the hollywood stars in rehab. Check out the successful AFL stars who's lives fall apart after finishing footy. Success and happiness aren't mutually inclusive. That doesn't mean you can't be successful and happy. But how do you go about being successful and happy?

I unfortunately don't have the answers. However, I am personally starting to get there. Here are some of my thoughts for being happy. Keep in mind this is from my life.

1. Take Responsibility For What You Can Control.... Yourself - I used to feel like a victim. In relationships, work, etc. Things were out of my control. I wasn't taking responsibility for me, the way I felt and acted. My mood, happiness, etc was dictated to me by others and events around me. I now take responsibility for what I can control - me, the way I act and feel. I have a sad feeling that there are plenty of people out in the world trapped by their inability to accept responsibility for themselves, like I was. If you are unhappy in a relationship, take responsibility for it. Either end the relationship or accept responsibility for doing something about it. The same holds if you are unhappy at work.

2. Don't Take Responsibility for Things You Can't Control - I also used to take responsibility for other people :). I'd feel it was my responsibility to make them better, to fix them. Pretty stupid. It was very stressful and a source of constant disappointment and unhappiness. I think taking responsibility for other people is like trying to control the weather or make a living off of gambling - a scary roller coaster ride ;). Now not taking responsibility for others doesn't mean not being caring and loving. In fact I think it often takes more love not to take responsibility for others.

3. Deal with the Bad and be Thankful for the Good - recently I've been more aware and thankful for all the good things in my life. I live in a great country, have a great job, lots of great friends, get to do lots of things I enjoy, etc. Bad things and stress still creep into my life (and lets face it unless you're dead they are going to) but even when I'm having a poo time, I am aware of how much is good. I think it helps me to be more realistic, to not focus on the bad things, to deal with them and move on. It means they don't drag you down. And who wants that?

4. Put Yourself First - After All You're Number One - This may sound a bit selfish, but I'm really beginning to think this is one of the most important things for people to accept. And I don't mean "stuff everyone else and get what you can because you're better than everyone else". I think we have to accept that we are human and we need to look after ourselves as a first priority. If you are heading towards self improvement and taking care of yourself it makes you much better at being able to help, care for and look after other people in a healthy and positive way. I used to prioritise looking after other people in my relationships (partly because I had insecurity issues). It isn't sustainable or realistic. If anyone ever tells you love is about sacrifice, or relationships are all about giving, etc, it's a lie. This is in my opinion over romanticised rubbish. ;) Putting yourself first doesn't mean always doing what you want, but what is best for you. There's a big difference.

5. Communicating with Yourself and Others - effective and honest communication is crucial for relationships. It's also crucial I think to communicate with yourself. I mean to think about what you want, how you feel, etc. Self reflection, prayer, or whatever you want to call it is crucial to self awareness, personal happiness and development.

All the above are things I am currently "living" to varying degrees of success. They are all pretty simple (at least to write or tell others about, if not live yourself sometimes) and they are all also inter-related. I haven't referred at all to God or religion yet, because I don't believe God or religion are pre-requisits for happiness. I know plenty of unhappy christians and plenty of happy athiests. Personally though I have found my spirituality to be important in my ongoing journey towards happiness.

How do you go about being happy?

Same Sex Marriages? Yes or no?

I've read some blog stuff on same sex marriages recently. It's interesting stuff and something I feel I should probably have an informed opinion on. There are lots of incredibly passion views both ways out there.

Firstly I don't think it's my place or my job to judge gay people. I don't really get it (well I do kind of get how lesbians can like girls cause I do), but they are people and deserve to be treated with love and respect like everyone else. I don't feel insecure about my sexuality, or find gay people threatening, I don't think they are going to bring society to it's knees, or anything like that. I don't like or appreciate overly overt gay people, but I feel the same way about overly overt heterosexual people too.

So what about gay marriage? I'm a little bit torn. My definition of marriage is between a man and a woman. But really I don't think there's a problem with broadening the legal definition to include same sex couples. I don't believe this will belittle the sanctity of marriage. That's being done anyway. Britany Spears for example, drunk Las Vegas Weddings, the ever increasing divorse rates all indicate there is little sanctity left anyways. The real reason I don't have a problem with it though is that it's really not my business. It's not my place to judge. God didn't die and make me the judge of everything.

One of the things that quite irritates me is some of the arguments either way, for and against gay marriage. There's it'll ruin the sanctity of marriage, it's immoral, unnatural, against God, against reproduction, etc. None of these are really good reasons not to allow Gay marriage, they are personal opinions. On the flip side numerous examples of how damaged or bad heterosexual married couples are doesn't provide a good reason why gay people should be able to marry.

Anyways, I think it is probably inevitable the way society is heading. And there lots more important things and issues to spend time on. I'll judge myself and let others judge themselves in this case.

Sympathy to the McGrath's

For those who haven't heard Glen McGrath's wife passed on yesterday after complications in her fight against cancer. Very sad. She fought a good fight and has done lots of good for breast cancer. God bless the McGrath's at this time.

I was having a bad day yesterday. I'm normally very happy. What's there not to be happy and grateful for living in Perth? But I was finding it. Feeling sorry for myself and generally being a baby. I was very cross at God. Bitterly dissappointed sums it up well. I was dissappointed with him for his failure to communicate with me. I was also dissappointed with myself for feeling that way.

Anyway, I was about ready to give up and hit bed early and sulk when I heard about the McGrath's on the news. It brought me back to reality and helped me find some perspective. She finally lost a good fight. And there I was loosing without a fight, and without doing any good.

Back on track now.

Baptism & King James

I wouldn't say I've been avoiding writting about baptism but I suppose I have. It's become a point of focus over the last year because of the Church of Christ I am attending. I cannot become a member because I haven't been baptised in a mode they recognise. (I was baptised age 6 with pouring rather than the full immersion).

Church of Christ (or at least the one I attend) dictates that to become a member full immersion adult baptism must be followed. I'm not really interested in debating baptism as such in this post but for completeness sake I don't beleive there is biblical support for invalidating modes of baptism other than full immersion (e.g. sprinkling, pouring, immersion). And before anyone starts quoting verses of defining the word baptism I am reasonably well read both scripturally and theologically on Baptism and am aware of "scriptural interpretations" that lead people judge others interpretation of baptism.

The real point of this post is to try to get some information. We had a baptism sermon on Sunday gone. Our pastor explained that baptism derives from Greek and means "immersion" (which I believe is over simplified) and went onto explain why we use the word baptism in the English language rather than the word immerse. Aparently when King James ordered the translation of the bible into English, the translators got to the word baptism and had a problem. If they used the word immersion, as they should, because baptism means immersion, King James would have had their heads because he was sprinkled. So after deliberation, the best the translators could come up with was no translating the word and just leaving baptism. Tada! Baptism entered the English language.

Now I had read this story on an essay on the etymology of the word baptism (written by a baptist) indicating that this story was an unsubstaniated conspiracy theory, and that there are texts showing use of the word baptism in English several hundred years before King James in the 1600's. So whilst baptism was a transliteration it wasn't transliterated to hide the true meaning of baptism being immersion.

Anyway, I was wondering whether any of you had any info on the topic or had heard similar stories and know of any others or if there's any work been done on substantiating King James' sneaky translation story.

The sermon on the weekend got me thinking a bit about content of sermons. I was thinking our pastor ain't a historian, and he should really stick to scripture which is more his area of expertise. I'll see if I can get any reference off him for where he got his info from, but I would be quite concerned if the story is just an unsubstantiated story passed off as fact to an unsuspecting congregation.

My 2 cents for today ;)

Boys and Girls and Washing Cars

I washed my car on the weekend. It's really very therapeutic for me. Strangely (or not) it makes me feel like I'm on top of things and it gives me a bit of a confidence boost.

Anyway, while washing my car I was thinking about boys and girls. This is a gross generalisation, but there's nothing wrong with that :) Boys are very toy orientated. Boys are practical and physical. We like something to work on and fix or clean or maintain. I'm not even an overly handyman but I still enjoy that sort of thing. I know boys who "love" their golf clubs, car, computer console, etc.

Now girls on the other hand aren't toy orientated. Girls are people orientated. Sometimes I'd even say drama orientated :). Usually girls seem to be trying to figure out how people feel and what people think about them. That and it seems (at least from my experience with girls in my life) inventing worst case scenario's for what other people think about them.

The amusing thing for me is that despite the differences between boys and girls, both sexes in general are really bad at communication. You'd think (and this is stereotype) that guys would be the worse communicators. But after thinking about it that's not what I've actually observed.

Experience, Truth and the Word

I'm attending a Church of Christ at the moment. The sermon yesterday was on tithing. The pastor brought up an interesting point. He said (paraphrased) that "experience can only be trusted so far and that as christians we have to rely on the Word as the source of truth".

The problem I have with this at the moment is that everything is affected by our experiences. The way we interpret the word is based on our experience and knowledge. For example as we get older and our experiences grow, and we're at different stages in our life, we will interpret parts of scripture differently. Unfortunately (or fortunately??) there doesn't seem to be anyway around this. Churches have been debating various scriptures meanings for thousands of years, and that's not because they haven't had intelligent, godly people on the case.

At the moment I feel experience and intent play a huge part in the equation and cannot be so easily ruled out by "the Word". Not that I'm denying the importance of the Word.

As an example take Baptism. All Christian Churches as far as I'm aware place a high importance on Baptism. It is a requisite for membership into the Church and is an outward and public symbol of accepting Jesus' saving grace and the Spirit into your life. It sounds like something that should unite all Christians (and I believe it should) but it seems to do the opposite. Rather than being a common unifying expression of faith it often seems to be a wedge.

I feel that this stems from different interpretations of the Word, which in all honesty is often not crystal clear. And there are other examples than Baptism, this is just one dear to my heart at the moment.

Interpretations are based on individual or collective experience, so I feel it's a little simplistic and dangerous to dismiss experience. Plus isn't experience of God, through relationship with him necessary to understand his message and will for us?

In short I feel experience is a crucial element of christianity. I believe experience should be based on education including reading, thought, discussion, prayer, relationships, etc. And surely practicing and experiencing living as Christ did?

Gandhi said:

"Ones experience must be the final guide. The written word helps, but even that has to be interpreted, and when there are conflicting interpretations the seeker is the final arbiter."

What do you think of that?

How much abuse is too much?

I have a friend who is going through a bit at the moment. They aren't in the best place and are prone to getting stressed and reacting angrily and in a verbally and emotionally abusive manner. I have a feeling they are a borderline malignant narcisist. They have low self esteem, high expectations for themselves and others (in my opinion unrealistically high), are quite paranoid, self destructive and the list goes on.

The point is they aren't in a great place. I know this and when they have an outburst at me I don't take it personally. It doesn't cause me harm. It's really only harming them. Usually after an outburst they'll apologise.

The other night this happened and after apologising they then proceeded to have a go at me for putting up with their abuse. I personally think this is a bit of a responsibility dodge, i.e. rather than taking responsibility for my abusing behaviour, it's your fault for putting up with it. They also seemed to think that by "putting up" with their behaviour I am condoning it.

The question that's occurred is how much abuse should one put up with? Is it different for different types of abuse? Am I condoning their abusive behaviour by hanging around?

Personally I think that you should remove yourself from abuse that is damaging to you, be that physical or psychological or emotional.

Any thoughts?

Linking Eating Disorders and Domestic Violence??

I'm reading a book on eating disorders at the moment. It's very interesting. It's not something I personally have much of a concept of. Food isn't that important to me. I like it and I don't like being hungry or being stuffed till I feel like I'm going to be sick.

Anyways, I supose unsurprisingly it's not really about food, or that's not the root of the problem. Similarly to someone with an alcohol problem (for example), rather than the alcohol being "the problem" there is an underlying psychological problem. One victim of an eating disorder in this book describes how she didn't fit in at school, she felt like an outcast. She was searching for a solution and ended up fixating on dieting and loosing weight and that became a serious eating disorder.

A lot of social problems I would think can be attributed at least in part to low self esteem and confidence issues. Eating disorders, domestic violence (which I'm also reading about), substance abuse the list goes on.

Another thing reading about eating disorders has got me thinking about is the pressure we put on individuals in society to look and act in certain ways. Despite the feminist movement and admittedly the great advances equal treatment of the sexes has gone through in the last 50 years, women are still glorified for being beautiful, sexy, skinny, etc. There's surely a bit of a double standard. We say "we need to respect women" but in reality a lot of advertising doesn't demonstrate this. The female figure is used to sell stuff. Surely that's not respecting women for the right reasons?

Are advertising/hollywood/media hype fuelling many people to have unrealistic expectations they can never meet? Does this contribute to low self esteem which enables things like eating disorders?

And if this is the case how does society counter this? Surely socially we should be looking at the bigger problem and promoting self esteem, communication, etc. But how do you do that? I personally think there should be more basic psychology taught at schools. i.e. "this is how boy and girl brains work". Teach kids about eating disorders, substance abuse, etc.

It might work. It's a tough problem though.