I have a friend who is going through a bit at the moment. They aren't in the best place and are prone to getting stressed and reacting angrily and in a verbally and emotionally abusive manner. I have a feeling they are a borderline malignant narcisist. They have low self esteem, high expectations for themselves and others (in my opinion unrealistically high), are quite paranoid, self destructive and the list goes on.
The point is they aren't in a great place. I know this and when they have an outburst at me I don't take it personally. It doesn't cause me harm. It's really only harming them. Usually after an outburst they'll apologise.
The other night this happened and after apologising they then proceeded to have a go at me for putting up with their abuse. I personally think this is a bit of a responsibility dodge, i.e. rather than taking responsibility for my abusing behaviour, it's your fault for putting up with it. They also seemed to think that by "putting up" with their behaviour I am condoning it.
The question that's occurred is how much abuse should one put up with? Is it different for different types of abuse? Am I condoning their abusive behaviour by hanging around?
Personally I think that you should remove yourself from abuse that is damaging to you, be that physical or psychological or emotional.
Any thoughts?
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Are you feeling emotionally or mentally abused?
If so, then maybe a bit of distance is needed. Not a complete cut, but maybe spending a little less time together?
We (russ & I) were in a relationship with a couple and it began to get too emotionally and mentally abusive that we started to distance ourselves. Eventually we ended up not spending any time with them because we saw that they were not true friends but were really just using us as door mats.
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